Here is an article that I wanted to share with my readers. It is definitely a change of pace from what you might expect to read on my blog but since I have not had much opportunity to keep up with my usual posts I thought I would share something new.
Please enjoy and let me know if you would like to hear more on this type of subject matter :)
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/allowing.html#wwwzyoKcXh1fGg3i.99
The Art of Allowing is a concept that does not
come naturally to many people and, really, this is no surprise.
You do not often overhear conversations on the
bus or at the table beside you at Starbucks where people are talking about how
it is so great that their partners think differently on a certain subject than
they do. You do not hear a man telling his buddies about how great it is to
live in a house where leaving the toilet seat up or down is perfectly ok for everyone
in the house. You do not hear these types of conversations because they are
exceedingly rare. If someone does not like what you are doing they will tell
you (or at least tell someone else behind your back) because it is your fault.
The funniest thing, to me, about these kinds of
arguments is that under all of the emotional overtones each person really just
wants the other person to do what they want them to do, and why is that? It’s
because both the men and the women want their partner to practise the art of
allowing. Both partners wish that the other partner would just except that they
prefer to do it the way they want to do it. The irony is that both want this
but both also resist it from happening. Each one is too concerned with changing
the other person, rather than changing themselves.
In my own situation, my wife and I are no
different. When I forget to put the toilet seat down she comes at me saying
that my ignorance almost caused her to fall into the toilet. After I recover
from the hilarious image in my mind of her sitting in the toilet “Wahhhing”
away like Lucille Ball, I realize that she is correct; by leaving the seat up I
have created the potential for her to fall into the toilet. However, is she not
just as responsible if she is sitting down without checking that the seat was
in the right position to sit on? Her answer would be that she should not need
to check because it should always be down, but I think I raise an important
point. There are always two ways to look at things, positively or negatively.
My wife chose to think about it negatively.
She chose to think about all of the bad things
that could have happened because of something that I did. This was her choice.
She missed the opportunity to look at it positively. She could just as well
have chosen to think about it positively, like how it was a pleasant reminder
of how she chose to share all aspects of our lives when she chose to marry me.
I am making light of the situation in this
example but the fact remains the same. Why choose to be upset and let yourself
become angry with someone (especially someone you love) when you can just as
easily choose not to. You may say to me that it is not as easy as I make it out
to be, and you are right, but the reason why it is not easy is because you have
been doing it this way for so long that it has become a habit. But the good
news is that negative habits can be broken and positive habits can be created,
you just have to change the way you think!
The art of allowing is the process of realizing
that each and every person on this earth is ultimately responsible for
themselves. No matter how much you try and change someone, it will only ever
work if they, themselves, want to make those changes.
Think about how many times you have gotten
frustrated with someone else in your life. Think about how aggravating it is
when you think you have all the answers for them but they just will not listen
to you.
Well it doesn’t have to be that way. If you can
wrap your head around the idea that what other people do does not have to
affect your own life. You are responsible for how you feel, not someone else. Think
of how much free time you will have to work on yourself! Let’s be honest, how
many of us can honestly say that we are in such a great place in your own lives
that there is nothing left to improve on? I know that I cannot.
By practicing the art of allowing (as hard as
that might be) you free up your mind to think of the things that you really
want to happen in your life, rather than devoting your time to complain about how
your inconsiderate co-worker is ruining your life. Give it a try and I assure
you things will start to change in your life. You always have a choice, so why
not choose happy over sad?
The reality is that you can have more of an
impact on someone else’s life by being a positive and accepting person than you
can ever have by criticizing and telling them they need to change. Exercising
the art of allowing enables you to help others by helping yourself first.
Have a positive impact on the world and the
world will have a positive impact on you!
