Let the Madness Begin!!

On this particular trip Shannon and I got an early start. We decided that we since we were both able to get the time off, that we leave on Friday morning to start our journey instead of the usual Friday after work.

This was a great way to go about it!! But I guess there are few people in this world that would prefer to work rather than go on vacation. Sure there are people that think that they should be working rather than taking vacation, but I would argue that is not because they enjoy it more, but rather a feeling of obligation or of necessity. I have met few others than my Father that would rather work than go on vacation and that is not a feeling that we share.

Needless to say there was no arm twisting involved in getting me to agree to take the Friday off. I know that it was not a popular decision since it was right in the middle of campaign time at my office, but I had made the plans for the trip a year in advance and months before I even started working the new job that I am working now. So I thought that was enough of a reason to not really care too much about how people felt about me not being present for that week’s campaign meeting J.

Leaving Friday morning was a pleasant change from the ordinary. It allowed us to treat Thursday evening like the beginning of the weekend. In our household, this means staying up a little bit later, snacking a little bit more, and sometimes even including a night cap or two since we would be able to sleep in slightly more than we usually would on a Friday morning. It sounds great and it was great!

After a relaxing and rejuvenating Thursday evening we woke up on our own without the usual help we get from our alarm clock. Not to say that I have any issues with our alarm clock, because as far as alarm clocks go, I think we have found a great compromise (http://www.philips.ca/c-m-li/light-therapy). It wakes us up on time like it should, but it does not do so by using the same scaring techniques used in horror films. Maybe it’s just me, but I prefer not to be woken by a simulation of an air raid siren that has me diving under my bed seeking protection!

This year we woke up at a decent time and we got ourselves collected and ready to go in record time….well at least record time in relation to how things went down on our last trip. We had a quick but adequate breakfast, enough to get us going and then we were on our way. Shannon also insisted that she be the one to drive on this occasion as a birthday gift to me. This was a lovely surprise! It is rare that I ever get the chance to be a passenger on a road trip and honestly I wasn’t quite sure about it.

I didn’t know how I was going to occupy my time just sitting there for a 6 hour drive. It didn’t take long for me to make the adjustment from driver to passenger and I have to say, it’s a welcome change to hand over the reins of the chariot every once in awhile. Thanks again Shannon for being my chauffeur!!

The trip went as smooth as we hoped it would. Traffic was a breeze since we had a head start on all of the other travelers the might have had their eye on getting into the States later that day. There were limited slow-downs in Seattle and Tacoma…much better than last year once again. The 6 hours went by very quickly.

One thing that I would recommend for any road trip is getting your mitts on some new music before you embark on the journey. It takes your mind off the other aspects of the trip that might usually get your attention when you are listening to the same music that you have been listening to in the car that you have been for the past year.

Another tip for long road trips and what you play on the radio, try new things that are not necessarily music. We have tried audiobooks in the past and that was very successful. You get so wrapped up in the book and what is going to happen next that the hours of the trip just seem to melt away.

Something that was suggested to me by my younger sister, who also road trips on a regular basis, was to listen to comedy acts. This was a brilliant idea! Shannon and I downloaded the new Louis C.K. stand up and loved it! He had us smiling and laughing for an hour straight. It is quite difficult to get aggravated in traffic when you are hearing the comic genius that is Louis C.K. I cannot believe that I have not thought of this before! All I can say is try it!

During our trip we encountered a déjà vu scenario. We must have had close to the same amount of gas in our tank at the beginning of this trip as we did the last time we went to Portland just a couple months back, because we engaged in the same “how long can we go on one tank of gas” game and we ended up pulling off at the same exit as we did on our last trip.

We rolled up to the exact same gas station as we did the trip before. The same gas station that Shannon left her only pair of flip flop sandals outside the car as we pulled away to drive the last leg of the trip. All of this was completely unplanned but strangely amusing. Shannon even went to see if they had a “Lost and Found” to see if she could recover her long lost sandals. She did this not because they were particularly special, but rather as a “wouldn’t that be crazy if they were still there” exercise.

Unfortunately they were not there waiting for us to come and save them. Though the woman behind the till was wearing a pair that looked very familiar…..I joke, I was not even in there to see. The experience allowed us to get the gas we need to finish the drive and the closure needed in the lost sandal saga. We wish you all the best in your future endeavors cheap and well used Old Navy flip flops!!

With the chance of running out of fuel no longer an obstacle we were back on the road and headed to our sleep quarters for the night. We decided to spend the first night in downtown Portland since none of our friends were going to arrive until noon the next day. So Shannon found us an eccentric, reasonably priced place in the industrial area of downtown Portland. I was happy to experience yet another McMenamin’s hotel, this one called White Eagle Saloon and Hotel (http://www.mcmenamins.com/WhiteEagle) at least until she did some further research and found out it was haunted.

I am going back a little bit in our timeline because this was something that I had forgot to mention.

During our enjoyable, relaxing evening that we spent enjoying our time together and getting excited about our trip, Shannon started to look further into our first night accommodations and found out it had a haunted past. This was not something that I took well initially. Why would I willing spend a night in a place that I know has ghosts? I don’t know a whole lot about ghosts but from what I know most people’s experiences with them are not overly positive. They involve being scared and creeped out and in some cases being sexually assaulted (http://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org/spiritualresearch/difficulties/Ghosts_Demons/ghostspictures/sexualmolestation1). None of these are situations that I would knowingly put myself in the position to experience.

This being the case, my first reaction was to ask Shannon to cancel our reservations and book us a new spot. She responded by saying that it’s too short notice and that we wouldn’t be able to find any other place that was so reasonably priced in that area…..I wonder why they are so much cheaper than everywhere else lol?

My second reaction was to take a deep breath and come to grips with the fact that we are going into ghost territory, and I decided that I was not going to be scared, because, I mean, hey are you really going to be that surprised to see a ghost if you were told before hand that they might be stopping by? I was now more excited than nervous, and I was ready to see some crazy stuff and have more exciting stories to write about on my blog J.

So back to our trip, we made it from the gas station to the hotel with little incident and we checked in, and even lucked out and found a place to park in the busy lot… and we didn’t even have to pay. Score!

I have once again run out of time so I will save the rest of the story for another time. Hope you enjoyed it up to this point and I hope I have you interested enough to come back and hear the rest of it at a later date!

Day 2-No plan? No problem

It is a liberating feeling to wake up in the morning and have no plans, aside from seeking adventure. Most days you wake up knowing what it is that you have to do, or on those special occasions knowing you don’t have to do anything but you have a list of things you want to do. Well, this day was planned specifically to be adventurous and go in whatever direction we felt compelled to go.

It started off waking up on our own time, not going to let an alarm clock tell me what to do! My wife headed off to the shower and I was left with a predicament, what do I do while I wait for her.....then it came to me! We still had a mostly full box of “happiness” from Voodoo donuts. What was I thinking when I said “we should probably only buy two each”? Glad Shannon talked me out of that one J So I feasted! Since I didn’t want Shannon to see me face deep in the box looking like a pig in a slop bucket, I decided to be civil and contain myself best that I could. By the time she came back the box was neatly shut and carefully placed back where we had left it last night. But there was no fooling her, she knew I had been into the goods and not just because our bed was littered with sprinkles and icing sugar.....she knew even before she saw the incriminating evidence. There is no fooling her after being together for almost 7 years. I knew that she would know, and I knew that she would have done the same and she did. Didn’t take her long at all before she was “sampling” again....and that was our breakfast!

After breakfast we made our way down to the much anticipated salt pool. I do not know if all the McMenamin’s establishments have them, but I loved the one in Edgefield (http://www.mcmenamins.com/877-edgefield-ruby-s-spa-soaking-pool) and was looking forward to seeing the one in the Crystal Hotel. It was definitely different but I enjoyed it just as much. The room itself is located below the street level outside, which seemed fitting given Portland’s history and the labyrinth of tunnels the run beneath the downtown core (http://www.travelcreepster.com/shanghai-tunnels.html#.U-0WYeNdVuB). The walls we lined with bamboo shoots and salt water was continually flowing out of two giant, pipe-like faucets creating a Zen-like atmosphere driving home the point that this place is to relax. So not feeling too rebellious that morning, we conceded the point and slipped into “just right” water while simultaneously slipping into a mind-freeing state of relaxation. With no timeline to stick to, we were in no hurry to move anywhere quick. After a rejuvenating soak (remember we had a late night of drinking and eating last night) we decided to piece together a set of guidelines for the day ahead. The musts were, to replace the priceless sandals (a whole Canadian dollar from Old Navy) that were unintentionally ditched at the gas station, find a place to camp for the night, and enjoy the hell out of the rest of the day. Sounds like a good plan to me!

So we checked out of the hotel, took our stuff to the car and set about on an unofficial walking tour of downtown Portland! We started with a stop in at Whole Foods (http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/stores/pearl) for some drinks and snacks. Usually, I am not one to seek out such stores. I enjoy eating healthy and taking care of my body but sometimes I find those places a bit over the top. Well I was both surprised and not surprised. Whole Foods was 100% over the top, just as I suspected, however it was awesome! A bit pricey, but awesome, nonetheless. In my experience, up until that point, if a store happened to carry drinks like kombucha or yerba mate tea, the selection would not provide you with much choice. Whole Foods was quite the opposite, it gave me so much choice that I almost walked out overwhelmed and empty handed. I decided on a bottle of Guayaki Yerba Mate (http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/blog/whole-story/guayak%C3%AD-yerba-mate-helps-ache-tribe). Delicious and refreshing! I love to drink yerba mate, not so much for the taste but for the health benefits. It never occurred to me that it could be tasty too J

So with drinks in hand we were on our way. The thing about going on a walking tour with no real intentions is that 100% of the time you end up in a place you didn’t intend to go to, hence the no plans part of the equation J Sometimes this works out great, and you find gems that you didn’t even know existed. Other times you end up in the hood, the “rough” part of town. This is what happened to us. There were no real consequences other than seeing a man wearing a hooded, skin tight, half unzipped, tiger-striped onesy, but it was not the area most tourists would be drawn to. But we intended on having an adventure, and that is exactly what happened.

Then we decided to head back to the downtown core in search of lunch. There are soooo many different, and oh-so unique, places to choose from, but we remembered that last night we had made tentative plans to try the place across from our hotel, Jake’s Famous Crawfish (http://www.mccormickandschmicks.com/locations/portland-oregon/portland-oregon/sw12thave.aspx). Grabbing ourselves a prime, street-side, table we went to work navigating our way through the always impressing beer list of Portland restaurants, and the food menu packed with the wide variety of seafood (and more) dishes that made Jake’s famous. Unable to find a definitive answer to what we wanted, we inquired with the waitress what she recommended. Having seen this same strategy used by friends in the past as a weak pick up line, I was a bit hesitant to ask (my wife was right beside me, how awkward would that have been lol). But I was glad that I did because the appetizer we chose was not on the menu. Simple but delicious is how I would describe the deep fried crawfish with red wine aioli. It was a great side dish for the seafood alfredo that we chose to share. Some places in my experience have not allowed you to share a main dish, but not only did the waitress at Jake’s allow us to, she also asked if we would like it in separate bowls...yes please, is what I say to that J My final word on Jake’s; enjoyable staff (our waitress forgot our beers but made up for it with a sincere apology and great all-around service), amazingly tender scallops and gooey cheese all working together to make a memorable seafood alfredo, central location, and a positive experience worth sharing with friends (and stranger reading my blog!). I would absolutely recommend it!

With our whistles wet and our stomachs full of top notch grub it was time to check some items of our list. Our next mission was to find the Old Navy in Beaverton. A short drive to the west in the, oh so thankfully, air conditioned car (his name is Zooms Z. McGee) and we reached our destination...Beaverton that is...we never did find that Old Navy. But what we missed at Old Navy we made up for at Fred Myer. Huge store, impressive selection and more name brands than expected. Shannon was not able to replace her lost sandals with another pair from Old Navy but was able to find a steal of a deal on a pair of green and yellow Oregon ducks flip flops! Go Ducks! Very stylish (at least they were until they got wet for the first time and all the design rubbed off....so that’s why they cost $3). But what she lost in sandal quality she made up tenfold when she found a replacement for a pair of shoes she loved and lost years back. It’s was good day J

Then it was off to Trader Joe’s (http://www.traderjoes.com/) the place Vancouverites love so much they needed one of their own (http://www.yelp.ca/biz/pirate-joes-vancouver) or at least something that closely resembled it.... Well Shannon and I are no different, we love us some Trader Joe’s. Healthy food at a reasonable price = not having to tell yourself “no” when you see something that looks delicious, such as the chocolate coated, peanut butter filled pretzels. Do not leave without at least two bags! One bag is not enough, and you will regret not getting more....much like we did on the second night of camping L Shannon, in particular, love Trader Joe’s so much that she will get upset with me for exploring the frozen food aisle without her. It is something we are supposed to “experience” together.

We spent more time than we should have exploring all of what Joe’s has to offer (a list to save me the trouble: http://www.buzzfeed.com/christinebyrne/reasons-trader-joes-is-the-best#32sth76) but it does not stop at the food....the liquor section is second to none. Sure they are not the Kings in an area nicknamed Beervana but for the price you pay and the quality you receive with the store brand beer and wine, you won’t be complaining. The smile on your face would give you way even if you tried.

After finishing our shopping it was off to find a place to camp for the night. With no reservation or really any idea of where to go, we left it up to the GPS to find us a place. At one point I just about made an executive decision to follow a highway exit sign but in the end it was to our benefit that I did not. Instead we followed the map to an area called Oxbow Lake and along the way we have the honor and the privilege to patron a grocery store/BBQ stand/growler fill up station/outdoor beer garden called Bigfoot Growlers (https://www.facebook.com/Bigfootgrowlers). I was blown away! I have dreamed of such a place for years! When craft breweries and tasting rooms started to become popular I enjoyed them, but kept thinking these places could be better. What would make it better? Well a grocery store/BBQ stand and beer garden is a damn good start. Those might not be my first choices if I had a place of my own, but they would be in the top 5, I can tell you that!

How was our experience there? Awesome! Awesome beer, awesome selection, awesome people, awesome atmosphere....awesome across the board! We loved it and highly recommend it! Would have loved to try all the different types of beer, but that is just not possible when you are the one driving. Enjoy responsibly J

Now to find a campsite! Not too hard. Followed the GPS to the Oxbow site, no problem there. Not having any sites available....well...that is a problem but not unforeseen. “Did you book a site?” Sure didn’t. But we needed somewhere to sleep so we tried the next one on the map. It was a long, out of the way drive, so successfully finding a site was the only option. We arrived to find 2 spots left, one for us and one for the people that arrived 5 minutes after us. Cash only for the campsite, no problem. You don’t have any change....oh. People taking the last site are headed into town to buy supplies and will get change then. Idea! What if we pay for your site and you pay us back with the change you get in town? Excellent! Pleasure doing business with ya J

With all the kinks worked out we were “happy campers”J We had our site, our firewood and a nice river to cool off beside. Life was good. No better time to crack a cold one and enjoy the evening. BUT.....this site is an alcohol free campsite....WHAT?!?! I didn’t even believe such a thing could exist (that is actually a lie, Jones Lake just outside of Hope, BC is another). We chose to interpret that rule as “discreet drinking only” and enjoyed an afternoon beside the river and an evening around the fire. Wine in coffee mugs, fire-cooked short ribs on our plates, and big fat stupid smiles on our faces.

Life was good!

Portland the city of dreams?!

BC Day Weekend in Oregon

The anticipation had been building all week. Work seemed less important and more of an obstacle. The countdown to Oregon was on. We had Oregon fever. The only thing left between us and the excitement of the road trip ahead was several mindless hours of work. I speak on the behalf on my gorgeous wife Shannon, and not myself. I know she was working as hard as usual, but I also know that she wanted to be busted out as soon as humanly possible. I, on the other hand, had the luxury of “working from home.” Though the work I was doing at home would not be considered productive in the mind of my Director, it served a purpose. It allowed us to break free at the soonest moment. I packed the car and got everything ready so, when the time was right, I could jailbreak my darling and head straight for our destination. At 4:30 I was there waiting with the car packed full of supplies and big ol’ smile on my face. As soon as I saw Shannon walk out the side door the fist-pumps started....”Oregon, Oregon, Oregon!!”

So we were off. We both placed our orders to the Universe for an arrival time of 10:30pm. It was a bit ambitious, I admit, fully realizing that our last trip to Portland took almost 9 hours. But we did not let that deter us. We were feeling good already, and had plans to feel great! With our order placed and nothing but positive energy coursing through our veins, we were ready for an adventure. As far as adventures go, it was not so much the destination itself that made it an adventure, but rather the fact that this was our first trip as a couple where we did not have a hard time line to stick to. Shannon has a talent for planning. She has planned many great trips for us in the past, but this time we wanted to try something different. Let the universe guide us and see what interesting experiences would come as a result. We were ready for anything!

I will not bore you with the details of our drive down but I will share the highlights during our 6 hour drive. I think the best part was the sandwiches the Shannon had picked up from Big Lou’s Butcher Shop on Powell Street. BBQ pulled pork and bulgogi chicken were on the menu. We shared one in line at the Peace Portal border crossing and another at the half way point of our drive just past Seattle....it was good motivation to get there as quick as possible. Hard to pick a favourite, they were both rewardingly tasty. Aside from that it was mostly good music (Bang Bang from Will.i.am and Back to Black from Beyonce and Andre 3000 from the Great Gatsby soundtrack were the theme songs of the trip), lovely scenery, thought-provoking conversation, and traffic that was smooth, smooth, smooth! Nothing better on a road trip that making good time, a sentiment that I share with George Constanza, as seen in the Bubble-Boy episode when he loses Jerry early on in the trip to the cabin (http://www.tv.com/m/shows/seinfeld/the-bubble-boy-2287/trivia/). There was a little bit of excitement when we tried to squeeze every last drop out of our fuel tank trying to make it into Oregon where we assumed the gas was cheaper since they do not have sales tax (neither of us have any evidence this is true). We didn’t end up making it...but Shannon did manage to leave her only pair of sandals for the trip next to the car as we pulled out to complete what was left of our trip into Portland on schedule. After a lengthy discussion that spanned the rest of trip neither of us could figure out why or how that could have happened. It did make for an interesting outfit while checking into our hotel later. At the gas station she had changed into a more comfortable and stylish sun dress to look her best as we rolled into the City of Roses. However, the whole tone was affected when she realized the only foot wear she has to fashion were a pair of hiking shoes. Not the sort of first impression she was looking to make as we blew into the city.

As the clock hands made their way to the 10:30pm position we rolled up to our hotel. A short wait at the border, very little slow down outside Seattle, and only a small delay going through Tacoma. All things worked out for a perfect arrival time. We are off to a fantastic start! Then with a little “sight-seeing” aka learning how to navigate the one-way streets to get us to the destination we just missed on our first pass. But hey we are tourist after all; why not take the opportunity to explore right?! We arrived at the Crystal Ball room, mistaking it for the Crystal Hotel. Not where we wanted to be but we got our first glimpse into the party life of the city. I parked behind a Party Bus Limo fun of girls out on a Stagette. One girl was trying to rock climb the brick wall, one girl was lying on the sidewalk and several girls and the driver were trying to convince them to get back in the limo. It was 10:30; the night was still young though it appears they had already had a lot of “fun” with the promise of more to come. As tempted as I was to try and tag along, being someone who loves to have fun, I realized leaving the car parked illegally with my wife desperately trying to find out hotel would be crossing the line of spontaneous to reckless and irresponsible. Not how I wanted to start my long weekend, though the pull was strong.

After our “sightseeing” we located and checked into our room at McMenamins Crystal Ball Room (http://www.mcmenamins.com/CrystalHotel/Location) across from archaic, but deservingly popular, Jake’s Famous Crawfish (http://www.mccormickandschmicks.com/locations/portland-oregon/portland-oregon/sw12thave.aspx). We already had somewhat of an idea of what to expect, since we have visited another one of the McMenamin brother’s spots in Edgefield, and we were not disappointed. The Crystal Ballroom though significantly smaller, had the same unique flair and atmosphere that I have learned to expect at a McMenamin’s location. Being in the city the Crystal Hotel cannot offer the same amenities as in Edgefield, but the proximity to downtown allows the guests the opportunity to experience the unmatched charm the McMenamin’s locations are known for, with the added benefit of easy access to downtown Rip City. There is so much great beer flooding the street of downtown it would be a shame to spend too much time in one single location. The McMenamin’s beer, served exclusively at McMenamin’s establishments, is right up there with my top choices in Portland but you never know what that brew pub down the street has just come out with. In the words of Frank the Tank in Old School “We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And, uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think, well, maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about.” As much as you love IPA’s (and Oregon is certainly the place to go if you do) do you want to risk missing out on that really cool beer that you didn’t even know about?! Not me, not ever!

The rooms at the Crystal Hotel were designed in a similar way to the rooms in Edgefield but did not fail to impress with their art work. The theme of the hotel is based upon the famous musicians that have played in the Crystal Ballroom (our first stop while trying to find the hotel). Each room has its own sub-theme based around famous song lyrics. Ours was “You keep on knocking but you can’t come in” from Little Richard. On his own I believe that Little Richard does an outstanding job exuding personality but seeing the caricature of him drawn on the wall of my hotel room made my experience that much more special. One thing worth mentioning is, because of the interesting choice of locations that the McMenamin’s use for their hotels it is not always possibly to have a bathroom within your hotel room. Though, this threw me a bit on my first visit, I soon realized it was a minor detail and did little to affect my overall opinion of my stay. If anything I think it added to my experience as it seemed to fit with the themes that make each location attractive to the guests seeking a new take on hotel travelling. So I knew what to expect when we arrived, though I was pleasantly surprised to have a private sink in our room. Nice touch!

Well, enough about the hotel. We didn’t travel all the way to spend our time cooped up in a hotel room, though I did want to give an honorable mention to the check in staff at the hotel. They were pleasantly quirky, very helpful, and a pleasure to interact with. Dealing with unfriendly hotel staff can sometimes put a damper on the trip right from the get go, but on the flip-side, awesome hotel staff heighten your expectations and get your mind in the right place to have fun.

So after getting settled in and such, it was already past 11:00pm. This does not seem late. In many places in the world 11:00 is considered the start of the night life. In Korea, bars are open all night, so if you are getting crazy at 11pm you better have endurance or you will miss the best part of the night passed out in the corner of the bar. However, in Portland, even on a Friday night, places are starting to slow down around 12. Some places stay open until 2 am but not all. Imagine our disappointment when we find out after we have been salivating over all the beer we want to sample off the menu only to find out that we missed last call…..come on! I realize that I need to love Portland for what it is and not what I think it should be, but it seems like such a shame to have so many bars and restaurants around the city close down before the fun even really starts. Vancouver is slowly changing their out of date liquor laws, so fingers crossed Portland will jump on that band wagon. So much awesome beer to drink and a limited time to do it! This is not to say that we did not get a fair chance to sample. Our first stop was Henry’s Tavern (http://henrystavern.com/). While there, we enjoyed a number of beers from their wide selection and some wings from the happy hour appetizer menu. Then we made a break for the well-know Rogue Distillery and Public House. Upon arrival we picked out two winners from the menu, one of which was said to have been brewed from wild yeast found in some dude’s beard (http://www.ratebeer.com/beer/rogue-beard-beer/208151/). As disgusting as that sounds, I was intrigued. Being a fan and a user of the beard myself, I felt compelled to be open to anything beard related strictly for the sake of solidarity in the beard population. This was our first set back, after finding out we had just missed last call we were again on the hunt for our next beer. We found another place the just up the street that looked promising….well not promising but looked like we might be able to get at least one beer before last call. Again, no luck but he did point us in the direction of another place that he recommended. It turns out this was another dead end. We did not find the place he suggested. We found one of a similar name but did not seem to fit the description he had provided. “This place is pretty popular, normally has a good crowd on the weekend” he said. The place we found was a couple regulars away from completely empty, neither the type of place described nor the type of place we were looking to populate. So with time running out we headed back to the hotel bar. It turned out to be the perfect location to save the night. A plate of truffle fries, two ruby ales, and a Strawberry Basil Lemonade later we were content to comply with last call. No more beer to be served but we had our eyes on yet another indulgence….Voodoo Donuts (http://voodoodoughnut.com/index.php).

 

Where does everyone go after a night of heavy drinking? Where does everyone who is not satisfied to call it a night at 2am go to next? Let’s just say it was not hard to find Voodoo donuts, just follow the stream of partiers. I have heard Voodoo donuts bragged about on more than a few occasions. I had heard of the crazy combinations and their scandalous bumper stickers saying “I got VD in Portland.” But I was not fully prepared for the sheer volume of flavors that they had available. When trying to decide how many to get and which flavors we wanted to try, we were in a state of panic. The line in front of us was getting increasing shorter and we were no closer to deciding our strategy. We ended up opting for a voodoo dozen picked by the worker. He told us he would pick the best ones, and he did not disappoint. I was a bit hesitant getting so many, not because I wasn’t excited to eat them all but more so out of fear that I would eat them all in a short period of time (no one wants day-olds, am I right?). But when the price is just over a dollar a donut I could not say no. How can you go wrong investing in donuts at least twice as good as Tim Horton’s at a lesser price? Well simple, you can’t! So once we were loaded up with 13 donuts it was time to head back to the hotel room to feast in bed. This is something that I would never allow in my house….never, never, never. The thought of it makes me skin crawl. But when on vacation in someone else’s bed, ain’t no stoppin’ me.

 

But we could not leave without at least sampling one each before the long (10 min lol) walk back. Well, one turned into two very quickly but no harm done. Once back in the hotel we got into our PJs, set up the tablet to watch Toy Story 3 and opened up the box of donuts for round 2. One recommendation I will provide, is to do like my wife suggested we do. Simple mathematics tells you that after a night of drinking and two donuts, you will not have much room left in your stomach to eat many more donuts, no matter how scrumptious they are. So as Shannon suggested we “sampled” all of the donuts. A bite here and a bite there and we were able to taste every donut at least once and still be able to get to sleep without a bloated feeling similar to Violet Beauregard from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. We did not see much of the movie; instead we fell into a sugar induced coma, with visions of donuts twerking and pints of beer krumping to Ludacris and Jermaine Dupri’s “Welcome to Atlanta” in our heads.